He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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