The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
