i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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