please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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