How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
porn star boner night. come get it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
soo... how was my night?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
