Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my poor anus
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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