Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
