I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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