Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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