i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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