just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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