I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize