good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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