so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
