I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
