she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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