so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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