I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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