either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
