one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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