We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize