Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
