you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
