Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
this will be a night to untag.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
