If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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