HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
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Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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