I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
