R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
