Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
