She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
