i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
