i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
