i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
