do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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