thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
...so i touched it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
