That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Couch. On fire.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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