He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
