is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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