theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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