I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
50% drunk capacity currently
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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