Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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