You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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