I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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