did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
