Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
