When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
