garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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