lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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