Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
