He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
