Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
