thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
