Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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