And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
