Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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