My hand turned me down
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
