no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
