why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
