yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
where are my eyebrows?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
