What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
