This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
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are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
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It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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