Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
