Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
