wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
