I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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