My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
